Hi.. Let's face it, you like or liked him in the past, but this is patently not enough for him. I know it’s hard but be strong u don’t deserve a life like this .. Shirley Urso-Farmer (author) from Michigan on August 21, 2018: Graczy17, I don't even know where to start to tell you what's wrong with this 'man' in your life. The mistress soon had enough of him, so he pestered me and misbehaved throughout our divorce. For me, I’m still struggling but I’m trying to find myself again. Make these positive affirmations for self-love a part of your morning routine, and you’ll see how much it’ll increase your self-love, improve your confidence, and your life too.. See also: 160 Best Cheer Up Quotes To Fill You With Positive … It’s true that more dangerous narcissists may follow through with their threats, but the point is that you can choose how you respond to their threats. narcissistic or otherwise abusive, toxic ex-partner, POWER: Surviving and Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse by Shahida Arabi, A Book For Those Recovering From Narcissistic Abuse…, Entitlement, Exploitation, And Envy: On Narcissists And The People They Abuse, 20 Diversion Tactics Highly Manipulative Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths Use To Silence You, The Truth About Intimacy And HS, From Someone Who Has Had It For 23 Years, 5 Qualities Malignant Narcissists Look For In Their Victims – And How They Use Them Against You, 5 Sneaky Things Narcissists Do To Take Advantage Of You, Everything You Need To Know About Narcissistic Abuse, This Is How You Break Up With A Narcissist – For Good, This Is What It REALLY Means To Go No Contact With An Abusive Narcissist. Grazy unfortunately he has played u.. tel him to f!!! I am heartbroken. Remember: you were the only one truly invested in the good times. You know what you experienced – you know how valid it was and the impact that it left upon you. Suddenly you may feel that your hair is too curly, your hips too big, or your nose is too small. This time I was thinking hurting myself but I want to be strong and fight my inner demons. I'm not sure why you accept anyone doing you like this, but the only thing I can think of is that he's got your self-esteem in such bad shape, that you think that you deserve all of this nonsense. Often when we have been devalued by an abuser, we become controlled by the need to be validated by them as ‘worthy.’ This need becomes especially amplified when we see that the abuser seems to have moved on with a new victim. They may also encounter stalking or harassment from their abusive partners in their attempts to detach from them, especially if they ‘dared’ to leave those partners first. He left and I started divorce proceedings. Shirley Urso-Farmer (author) from Michigan on February 26, 2018: You're awesome comment on my hub made my week...I'm working on staying sane, but I can't promise anything...don't work too hard :). After an abusive relationship, we may begin to romanticize our ex-partner in times of loneliness. Hell hath no fury like a angry narcissist! If you are escaping from a physical abuser, this affirmation hits home. Nowadays I started to questions myself because no matter what I do for him, support him financially when he needed, accepted him like this, loving him unconditionally he will never appreciate me and I will never be good enough for him but I don’t know after all what he done wrong with me I still love him and willing to give him chance until one day he realize his not young enough to play a round because his turning 52 soon. I took him back each time because I couldn't bare the thought if him being with somebody else. My partner kissed a girl at a bar that wouldn’t leave him alone , how do I get over it. I have an open, positive mind. Be strong! Find any and all support you can to help build and reinforce the fortress of protection around you. His current love affair is running about four years now. I AM good enough, and it's really a shame that someone elses' selfish choices made me think otherwise. In fact, many malignant narcissists disguise themselves as charitable, loving people. Putting the mental-demon in it's place with an appropriate name will give you a feeling of control and eventually make the critic throw his hands up and go away. Think constructively and neutralize the negatives. There are so many victims still in abusive relationships – including the new source of supply. Thank you for your advice tho and I would be open to more. I think about him when ever i sit down. Positive Affirmations. Is it too late to break it off? Give the bully a fitting name; refuse to sit quietly and listen when you hear the hate-speech start by rolling your eyes and saying, "Oh, it's Big-Mouth again," or "Here goes the Jerk yet again." By incorporating positive affirmations for self-esteem issues into your daily life you can turn your negativity around. He wanted me to hold him back to me and hold him tight and never ever let him go. Another line of thinking could be a reward-based thought; like, "I've worked so hard all week and I loved those silk pajamas I saw at the store, I'll buy them tonight because I deserve it!" Many times, the injured partner will reason that it's somehow their fault; "If only I looked different," "If only I had more money," or "If only I had acted differently." @Ms.Urso-Farmer, he had conversation with his friend and he told him how unhappy he is in his life from young age because growing up people always think he is just a small person and think his a failure. He admitted to me after 15yrs together maybe he don’t really want a married life in a first place. The tendency to cheat may be genetic, and is linked to alcoholism, and gambling. Kenneth Avery from Hamilton, Alabama on February 23, 2018: This hub is nothing short of amazing. 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